ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
