he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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