he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
