Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
