I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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