You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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