apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
