And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
