And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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