Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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