he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
