He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
A+ Viking dick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
