I CAN MOONWALK!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
