meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
