It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
