I look better un-naked...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
