every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
