First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you win again, gameday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
