I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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