Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
