I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
