she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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