Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
