Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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