I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
