just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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