I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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