Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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