You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
