Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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