when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
