I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
