that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
