you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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