I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
