Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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