I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Boobs are out for the taking
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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