I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
