i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
