thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
