he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
