i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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