Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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