Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.

(281): View more from Texas

No. Just liquor. Time's no good.

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(303): View more from Colorado

there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

(1-757): View more from Virginia

Dick in a box?

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(301): View more from Maryland

They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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(509): View more from Washington

You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?

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(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition

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