ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
