What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
