Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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