just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
