at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
