Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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