You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Drake has all the answers
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
