I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
